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Miss Tiff Mischief

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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to macha'e   on

My mother has a boyfriend who is so rude to her treats her like a slave in her own home.

ty m, very kind of you. i've shared my story before. either to shrinks - omg, wayyy too often, and frankly i'm sick of telling it. it doesnt set me free. it's the past. i've moved on. i will only share bits and pieces as is relevant to help someone else thru various things; domestic violence, abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts/urges, etc etc. if i can help someone, i will, and i figure if i lived thru it, so can they. if i put it all behind me, so can they. i dont need to share it and be free of it per se; it's a part of me. that was my life. my life has changed, all that's done and i'm safe now - except for the damn nightmares. omg. PLEASE can i get some sleep w/o them? they never never stop. *sigh* thank you for your kindness. :) you can call me tiff btw. :)
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to C Mac   on

little person: Help understanding Politically Correct terms: Intellectually Challenged and Little

i agree in part: i dont think theyre "all" politically motivated. i think ppl go too far w/ their sensitivities *but* i think ppl go too far w/ their stereotypes and generalizations. i still think that if was short, being an "LP" would be the most insulting thing ever. but those whom i watch on tv, Pit Boss, seem happy to be referred to as an LP. *shrugs* just dont get it. thanks for your reply! a ton of my notifications went to SPAM and i didnt see any notifications on here that i had new msgs. i'm working on it! :) peace!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to BaddCatt   on

Suggestions?: I need some help. I don't know what to do anymore. My husband and I cannot get caught up

thanks BC! it does help, a lot! sometimes i see something like "view original post" near the top, but not always. now i know! i havent had enough time yet to navigate around. so you did get me before i had to figure it out myself.

i've tried to click on ppl's profiles. i just get a little "about me" thing. i'd like to see their pic larger than a thumbnail and other info that i put in my profile. if i click on the person's name, i end up seeing their posting activity. then i can click "about me" and get a little pp. just wondering if there's a profile page or not for members to see more about others? not that important, but i like to know to whom i'm speaking. :)

thanks so much BC!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to macha'e   on

My mother has a boyfriend who is so rude to her treats her like a slave in her own home.

i would say simply that VIOLENCE NEEDS TO STOP! boys, some men as well, are the recipients of horrible things as well.

i'm so glad you have a fur baby! i can see his lil pic as your thumbnail :) i cannot tell from the small size of the pic... jack russell? i have a rule of thumb that i do really jk'ing LOL i say that ppl should get a "REAL DOG which is >40lbs" LOL! i can say this, as i had a 210lb english mastiff. he passed away from cancer. :( he was 7yrs old, which is about avg for a dog that big. my abg is 9yrs old and i HOPE she lives as long as i! but... well i cannot talk about that stuff.

i, too, am a survivor of the things you mentioned, and things that people think "that doesnt REALLY happen, not in THIS country!". things that are so horrifying, there's not even been a movie that shows them. i cannot talk about certain things. i cringe at the R word and cannot say it, even in typing.

i dont ever want to say this in public, but i'll just say that SOME people have children that they .... didnt intend to have. and i want you to know that i NEVER see the DF's (dead f'ers) features or traits in EITHER OF THEM and i will NEVER compare them to him and... he's DEAD! WOOHOO!!!! so no more running for my life, but esp, no more running for my BOYS' lives. i'm so grateful to that person. unfortunately, it was a murder/suicide. so the poor guy offed himself and never knew what a HERO he was. :( he will always be to me; even tho i can never thank him.

this much has been extremely difficult for me to talk about. i have to stop now. i'm soooo sick of the nightmares and the PTSD from hell and ... idk how to stop the nightmares. i need some sleep. obviously. but EVERY TIME i close my stupid eyes... the bad ones are there and i live thru it over and over and over and over.... yet in my day to day life, i think nothing of it. it's done, it's over w/. i moved on. at least, i think i did. WHY the nightmares? they'll never stop i fear. it's really bad when youre physically disabled and sick and need to sleep but it's literally hell to do so.

i'm going to dive back into the book i'm reading and get some sleep. THANK YOU FOR HELPING OTHER WOMEN!!! but dont forget the male gender in your endeavors.

peace!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to AidpageTeam   on

AidpageTeam

lol, hi A TEAM! :) i was wondering, is this a "christian" or "spiritual" site? or does it just happen to be that many members are spiritual on some way? thanks!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to BaddCatt   on

hey bc, i dont see where to do a one-to-one conv? there are some grammatical errors on your site. i wondered if i may proof them and you can correct them? i'm shocked that you were in a film and dubbed over with a cursing voice! can they legally do that w/o your consent? i'd be soooo ticked! while we do not share the same spiritual belief system, i too agree that movies put far too many curse words into their scripts. i'll never forget being so excited to see Eddie Murphy: RAW and then i had to pick out the English between all the F bombs and so on, that it wasn't even funny anymore. that was a major disappointment.

i dont want to mislead you - i cuss like a sailor at times. that doesnt mean that i want to watch any movies and pick through the character's words to see what English remains to make a sentence. i have no prob using cuss words occasionally. but i agree; i dont want to see it in my movies. as for the blood and gore - i cannot handle that. i'm not sure why things got so out of control, except that hollywood has always tried to push the limits of the "shock factor" to get more ratings, more viewers. at this point, how about we go back to some comprehensible English and no shots that make people disgusted due to the blood and gore - the violence?

i'm not a movie critic, so i know hollywood would never listen to me. i LOVED your point about how critics have *never* said that a film needs more cursing in it. LOL!!! true dat. true dat. i am just flabbergasted that the producers thought they needed to dub over your voice and put the original script in "your mouth" per se. so sorry that happened to you! good luck on your career tho!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to macha'e   on

My mother has a boyfriend who is so rude to her treats her like a slave in her own home.

macha'e, just a cute little tidbit here: the horse may not drink, but my dog is *so smart* that i can lead her to water *and* make her drink! guess dogs trumped horses on that level. :)
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to amoreno   on

My mother has a boyfriend who is so rude to her treats her like a slave in her own home.

wow, how horrible! youve got to find a way to be objective, rational, and have a PRIVATE heart to heart w/ her. no one deserves to be treated like that. she's gotta break the cycle of abuse - she's worth MORE than that! she likely doubts that she is. support her, try to make her see that she doesnt need this kind of treatment and doesnt deserve it. i hate hearing of other women in these situations. i know. i've been there. i worked many years on trying to get other women out of these things. i put everything i could into it. but unless the woman BELIEVES that she deserves basic courtesies and the very least, and to be treated and respected as the human that she is... nothing will change. if you can talk to her and tell her these things, and over and over as much as you can, you may be the only one who can truly reach her. it's about much more than abused women rationalize. it's about their self image, their expectations of what they do / do not deserve in life. that's rooted deep into the psyche and will take someone that can reach her on that level. you may be the only one.

i wish you luck, friend!

peace!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to BaddCatt   on

ward,bunch

PS just to make sure there are no misunderstandings from the above reply as well; i did not mean in any way to insinuate that you did *not* respect me. I meant that that is all i ask. but admiration? no. i'd prefer if no one admired me. im a survivor of a great many things, but my life is nothing and that is mostly my fault. i dont deserve admiration. in fact, to admire me would be to acknowledge that truly, all i have done is survive and kept my boys safe. i suppose that's a good thing, but for me, admiration is uncalled for. hope that makes sense.
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to So Helpless   on

I have realized that my problems I am having in my

oh wow. this is major serious. i've been thru this. i'm not sure how to do a one-to-one conv on here. can you do that w/ me please? the worst part of life, that only happens to those w/ kids involved, is the deepest guilt and regret that you cannot forgive yourself for if your decisions / life circumstances cause you to lose the child(ren). they HOLD our hearts. you know they do. EVERYTHING you do in life, since you decided to have sex and allowed that child to be created, NEEDS to be based on HER and what's best for HER. if you choose anything otherwise, the guilt will kill you.

i'm supposed to "forgive myself" for things that were "beyond my control bc i was so sick" from "circumstances that were horrific but i couldn't stop them". yeah. right. no t in the world has EVER told me: HOW DO I FORGIVE MYSELF? i can forgive a great many people, tho not myself.

i'm going to lay this out for you, the simple way it was laid out for me:

SOMETIMES, YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE: ROMANTIC LOVE OR YOUR CHILD(REN). it's that simple. despite what you may think, the best choice and the one you will NEVER REGRET is to choose your CHILD. your bf will move on (hopefully) and so will you. there are more men out there, and some that will actually treat you w/ respect that you deserve. but you only have ONE CHILD and she can NEVER be replaced. the "love" or "yearning for love" that you feel w/ the bf CAN BE REPLACED, believe it or not.

trust me on this one. the details dont even matter. if you ever have to choose, there's a REASON you have to choose: previous bad choices, abusive relationship, illness, etc. and the RIGHT CHOICE IS ALWAYS YOUR CHILD(REN) since the day you became a mother. your life changed. you DO NOT LIVE FOR YOURSELF. you live for your DAUGHTER. sorry i'm wording this strongly, but trust me, been there, done that. i failed. no, i would NEVER choose a gf (i'm gay - so your equivalent of a bf) over my boys. it's cost me much, but choosing them over anyone else NO MATTER WHAT has saved my life AND THEIRS. you can never go wrong.

youre a mother now. your life focuses on giving your dd the best life possible. however, note that that DOES NOT mean to give up on yourself: quite the opposite. you stay healthy mentally, emotionally, physically, for HER. put her on the pedestal she deserves, and you will NEVER go wrong. you can talk to me more if you like, but it's a very heartbreaking topic for me. :( i will share w/ you if it may make a diff for your choice and your dd, tho. please, learn from my mistakes and misfortunes that some may have been prevented; tho not all.

peace!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to So Helpless   on

Do anybody has a old cricket phone that they are not using anymore, because I'm in dying

SH, i do have an old cricket phone! but... idk how to get it to you, and i like to keep it *just* in case of emergency. i'm no longer w/ cricket, but you can dial 911 w/ any cell, w/ or w/o service. i'd have to find the charger and the phone - i think i can. but i'm not sure if this is a good thing for me to do. i'd want to know a lot more about your situation and why your parents are keeping you from your bf. as i said in another post to you, they *could* be helping you, and you just don't know it right now. it took me a long, long time to realize that what my mom (mostly - and dad some) did was saving my LIFE. and that of my adorable PERFECT two man-children. :) so bc of my own life experience and knowing that, as much as i hate to admit it, your folks may be doing this to save you from any number of different things... i wont send it to you w/o more details.

why do you want a cell phone? i saw something re missing your bf and wanting to contact him i think? tell me about him and why your folks wont let you contact him....? i dont mean to sound harsh, but i'm very very extremely very wary of sending you something that might endanger you, even tho you might think it wont. besides, dont you have a home phone? i know some ppl do not anymore. but since youre at your parents' house, they might. ? if you'll give me more info, i'll consider it. i'm just very cautious and wary of the consequences that sending you a phone might involve. hope you understand, since i dont know ya.

peace! (remember, i'd have to FIND the phone - and it's old, from last used w/ them in 2004, but should still work) (actually i should find it and get contacts from it. hmm.)
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to So Helpless   on

Man I am so tried of not having my own place, and people controling me and my daughter

hey SH, this happened to me as well. i didnt know it at the time, but my mom.... well she's not a nice person at all *sigh* but she was actually SAVING MY HIDE. perhaps this is the case w/ you? i dont know your story, so cant tell but... i was in a very very extremely dangerous place and if not for my mom doing the same thing to me, idk if i'd ever have escaped - much less alive. wondering then, is this for your own safety and protection?

both my folks HATE me - yes, they remind me often- but they still saved my butt doing this. just something for you to think about.

peace!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to So Helpless   on

So Helpless

hey so helpless, how goes it? i remember that same predicament myself, altho much more severe. *sigh* but i'm a SURVIVOR and you can be too! why so hopeless? i'm hopelessly optimistic. HAHAHA (get the oxymoron? LOL)
have you applied for housing assistance? it should be open for 1-2wks in MAY each year. that's the ONLY time you can apply, and waiting lists are soooo long. but it was a life saver for me, and will be for you and your precious dd too!
no matter how helpless you may feel, remember how much you LOVE that girl of yours- you know she OWNS your heart, just like my 2 sons do, and that you'll do ANYTHING for HER. that's good motivation, if you have the strength to pull it up.

let me know if i can help you find resources or something. :) peace!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to bjctech   on

bjctech

hey bjctech :) you ended up on "my people", altho i havent spoken to you. i wanted to see others' profiles, but not sure how to do that. as a fellow techie, are you experiencing the nightmare of navigating this site that i am? i cannot seem to figure it out. i'd love to chat w/ you. i wonder if this site has an IM feature? i fear i might not be good at that, as i have difficulty using my arms sometimes. it'd be nice if they did, tho! just a bit of code is all it takes, i've made a ton of them in the past. :) what kind of techie are you? what school (if you dont mind saying) and what degree are you going for?

i think i was meant to be a "lifer" aka "career student". LOL the bills for tuition thought otherwise. i have a PASSION for learning. all types of stuff! my degrees are all in sciences, but i have other education and experience in a vast amount of diff subjs. i'm jealous that you'll end up living "MY" dream - on the beach! i was supposed to be so much more than i turned out to be. my life dreams cant come true now. but i can build new ones. :)

would love to get to know ya! you sound pretty cool. :)

peace!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to csimmons90   on

I cant do this anymore. Its over...

hey cs, saw this post and it's a bit old but... how are you coping w/ the depression and anxiety? i may have some tips for you. are you still struggling? it is situational? gimme a holler and we'll see what's going on. are you on meds? i dont know the story of what's going on, but hate to see anyone in that deep abyss... been there, done that, NEVER going back. no way. hang in there! peace
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to csimmons90   on

csimmons90

PS - always wanted to go and live in WY or MT. my dream was a large ranch, saving EVERY pit bull that needed a loving home in the entire 48. LOL.... not happening, but we can all dream, eh? sure jobs are hard to come by there - it's sparsely populated enough that there are likely not enough civies to sustain enough jobs. :/ wondering if you have a beautiful WY view, too? :)
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to csimmons90   on

csimmons90

hey CS, what degree are you working toward? i'm a geek/nerd = neek :) so i find that all interesting, and as our future generation, i have to know that youre going to get a good education and career and be able to run this country well when i'm old and gray LOL. that's not too far off either. last WED i woke up w/ my first-ever OLD LADY ACHES AND PAINS!!! yes. it's all downhill from here. HAHA actually hoping your into a science, since i'm such a neek :) just curious about you. not sure how to see your profile page. : / working on figuring this site out. not easy on the hardcore techie in me. breaks rational / standard protocols for navigating. it's hurting my brain. LOL :)

peace!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to stressedoutman   on

stressedoutman

hey stressed out LOL.... love the username! i don't know how to navigate this site effectively. i show that you replied to yourself - asking yourself how are you? to whom were you speaking? i've asked the AP team how i follow threads on here. it's bad when a hard core techie cant figure this out LOL. i also have 18 ppl in "my people" but cannot click on "my people" to delete some. i've never spoken to any of them but 5 at the most (including AP team). do you know how to correct the "my people" list? it seems they just hooked me up with some people.. is that how the site works, perhaps?

why you so stressed out man? LOL it's hard not to laugh at that username! but i feel ya, brah. i dont stress often enough, i think. too laid back cuz my life has been quite literally fighting for my own life and that of my two WONDERFUL sons - so anything else is just trivial to me. i'm old and all beaten down. too weary to be stressed anymore. not that i *never* get stressed. but just not that much.

from your username it sounds like you stress out all the time? is that so? or was it a joke? i hope youre not stressin all the time - not good for your health!

peace!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to AidpageTeam   on

AidpageTeam

where do i see "my people"? i do not see that listed on the drop-down from my username or in the "wheel" for settings/options.

i also do not know how to go back in a thread. i see a comment from someone, which says "in reply to xxxx" and when i clicked xxxx's name, i didn't get the post that started that particular thread. the navigation of this site is atypical and has been difficult for me.

can you help? thanks!
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Miss Tiff Mischief   in reply to BaddCatt   on

ward,bunch

hi BC, you don't have to admire me, please don't, but do respect me. that's all i ask. when i made that comment, i meant more of physically taking action to address the issue(s) at hand than sitting at home and stressing about it; being unproductive. i should have worded my response better. you are correct. i should not be discouraging. i'd meant to say something more to the effect of get up and get busy on fixing the problem. i have a horrible issue w/ writing when i'm falling asleep. this leads to poorly worded posts. i know i have this issue, but when i'm almost asleep, i think i'm not and that i'm doing fine. LOL

i apologize to all in the thread for my poor choice of wording. Ward, have you found the online apps for the programs to help you yet? if not, i can help. assuming i can find the correct thread and such on this site. it's not a very efficient layout. i'm trying!

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